Cheat Treat: Vegan Banana Pineapple Muffins

So I made these super yummy muffins! I was sort of experimenting with some left over ingredients that I had left. Here are the ingredients that I used.

• 2 cups of Almond meal
• 1tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 cup crushed pineapple (Fresh pineapple)
• 3 ripe bananas
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup almond milk

In a small bowl mash the bananas and mix in the crushed pineapple. In a separate bowl, mix all dry ingredients first, then add the vanilla extract and mix in the mashed banana and pineapple while stirring on low.  Once all indgredients are mixed together, pour into a cupcake/muffin pan (serving of 12).  Bank at 350 degrees for 25 minutes and enjoy!

The muffin taste incredible! Although, I think next time I will use this mix as a cake instead of a muffin mix.  The bread is super moist and would go wonderfully with some yummy vegan icing!  My favorite part of this muffin/cake is the pineapple chunks. So yummy!

Let me know if you make these and if you modified it how it came out!

:)

Why am I Still Up?

Now Playing: Hate Me Soon by Yellow Ostrich
Mood: Too tired to sleep >.<

I just want to start FRESH.  When I wake up, it will be a new day and a new me.  My attitude needs to change.  I need to live up to that PMA I once had.  I began my journey to a better me today by forcing myself to go to the gym.  I really didn't want to go, but I felt good once I did.

I am at a crossroad in my life being in between jobs, trying to finish school, and just learning how to manage the relationships in my life in general. But,  c h a n g e is needed.  I can't let these circumstances that are my current life define me, Ellie.  In order to bring change, I feel that being transparent is important.  So, in the spirit of change and becoming a better me, I want to share this photo.

This photo is not intended to offend, upset, or call for inappropriate attention.  

At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with POS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).  I don't think many women know about this disease.  Here are some symptoms of POS:

• Acne
• Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
• Extra hair on the face and body. Often women get thicker and darker facial hair and more hair on the chest, belly, and back.
• Thinning hair on the scalp
• Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than nine periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
• Fertility problems. Many women who have PCOS have trouble getting pregnant (infertility).
• Depression.

Of the above, I struggle with the ones I highlighted.  The issue that has affected me the most was the drastic weight gain. Before I turned 16, I was always in between a size 3-5,. then 7, then 9, 12, 14, to a now 16.  During this time, I was moderately active.  In the past, I have put effort into loosing weight, but this has shown to be an almost unreachable goal for me.  I have always been a "healthy eater" and aware of what I eat.  When I was 18, I changed my diet to a plant-based diet and ate very little white & lean meats.  When I was 20, I went full vegetarian.  In the last year in a half, I have adopted a vegetarian/vegan diet.  At home I only buy and consume vegan foods. Anyhow, my point is, not being able to burn calories like I once did turned my self esteem low, which then caused my depression.  It was so easy for me to give up on exercising because I literally would put in so much work and see very little to no results.  I am now willing and wanting to give it another go.  I can't let this disease get in the way of my body goals.  This time around, I will incorporate juicing, blending and an even smarter and more aware vegetarian/vegan diet.  I hoping to reach my first goal of dropping 5-7lbs within the next 2 weeks.


So,  this is what I have to say about my POS.

I am no longer going to reject myself.  I accept myself, POS and all, but I am going to do what I can to change myself, for the better.  The weight is going to be hard to drop, but I can do it.  I will be a happier person, depression will not get the best of me. At this point, I do not know if I will be able to bare a child, but whatever life throws at me, I will have to accept. And last but not least, the extra hair... well, waxing and shaving will have to do for now lol.  If you can't handle it, sucks for you.  I will not let anyone make me feel less pretty or accepted.

Just another bummer.

The last two years I have felt like my life has been a series of unfortunate events.  One right after the other.  I am tired of it.  I try really hard to stay positive but even just the little bad things are getting to me.  I don't want to deal with it anymore.  Why can't things just go smooth and work out?  I feel like so many spoiled, undeserving people get things handed to them, while people like me get stuck struggling.  I am angry and upset.  I am sorry for writing this, but it's just all bull shit.  I don't deserve this, but what can I do? I pray and hope and actively try, but things don't change.

:<

Perserverance

Now Playing:  Craft Spells - After the Moment

SIGH.followed by another SIGH.  That's how I have been feeling, and I shouldn't.  Yesterday my main boss told me next week is my last week here.  I am trying really hard not to freak out.  I am actually really surprised that I haven't done so yet.  I can make it through this.  Something will come through.  I need persevere through this time.  I will find another job, maybe even a better job.

It's scary not knowing what's going to happen, especially when you have bills to pay.  But Jehova Jireh is my provider.  It's weird to me that I even remember that.  It's been so long since I've even opened a bible, much less even gone to church.... But I know He will provide for me, even when I've neglected him.

I just need to look forward and trust that I will be okay.

Atleast tomorrow I am going to Disneyland lol.

Other than me, Better than me...

Now Playing: Emery - The Ponytail Parades
"These laces are untied, but my feet are still walking away"

I woke up today feeling sad.  Like I failed.  I know there really isn't anyone to blame, other than maybe time itself.  I don't know where "we" will end up, but I hope we find happiness.


Okay so enough gloom, I need to stay positive.

I have a new class tonight MGT 460 I think?  It's a Human Resource class.  I am looking forward to it.  I really need to focus on my thesis prjoct paper! I haven't worked on it in months!  I am hoping tomorrow and Thursday and can just stay home and focus on that and cleaning my home.

Well,  I guess that is all for now.  Have to get back to "work".

Oops. New Year, New blog

Well, last year was a huge BUST.  I don't even want to talk about it. This year however, looks promising.  I was looking through the list of things I wanted to do in 2012 and surprisingly  i did do some...
s o m e.  lol.  I thought maybe I would make a list for this year.  We'll see how it goes.


- Stay PMA as much as I can
- Get to my goal weight of 180
- Ride the new roller coaster at 6 flags this Spring.
- GRADUATE college!!!
- Get more into my photography and raise business
- Finish some of the books on my bookshelf that have yet to even look at
- Make a new friend
- Get a raise... *crossing fingers*
- Do a 5k... or a few
- Write, produce, record, release some of my music
- Visit another state
- Go camping
- Oh!... And try to blog/journal on a regular basis.

We'll see how it goes!