"I learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love
I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone
Well I played with fire, I burned it all down
I’ve made more mistakes than you can count" - Tiger's Jaw//I Never Saw It Coming
Just catching up a bit, it's been a while. Nothing real fun/exciting has happened, but this summer does look promising :D
- Girl weekend with Flower 5/27-5/29
- Rocking Roots 6/3-6/4
- T-Mills Show! (I know lol!) 6/11
-EMERY!!! 6/18
- Magic Mountain (Im planning this atm so if you want to come let me know!) 6/25
- Warped Tour weekend!!!! 7/2-7/3
- Sound & Fury! 7/22-7/24
This weekend I am driving down to Simi Valley to hang out with Flower. So Stoked for that!!! I can't even begin with all the crazy stories we have being misfits when we were younger hahaha. Ex. I think we are the only girls who were ever accused of sleeping in the boys cabin... at church camp. HAHAHA! when in reality we were stuck in the car becuase there was a SWARM OF GIANT RACCOONS! Or that one time we stole a 6 pack of rockstars from the van at church camp... hahaha we were bad LOL. I guarantee you this weekend will be crazy haha. Seriously in a huge need of seeing her and just getting away from Bakersfield and stuff. I probably won't want to come back home.
Anyhow, Im not sure what else I want to write about. haha, not really in a writing mood I guess.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Eh.
There's that feeling again.
A L O N E.
I know I am not alone, I have the best friends, sister and all the cousins any one could have (lol), but I still feel kinda gloomy at times. I want to feel that happy feeling again, the chispa, butterflies kind of happy, but, there is no one at the moment. I hate remembering the past. And I hate that just thinking about something can make me so angry. That's just life though.
On to catching up!
Well nothing new has really happening but I'll list a few things that have happened :)
- Really into bike riding. i actually LOVE it.
- Looking for a new job, I really can't take the disorder and lack of management here
- Piano, I've been playing it a lot recently.
- New tatts! I got Con Fuerza right above my knees. It means With Strength. This tattoo means so much to me. Madball's song Con Fuerza reminds me of my family and all the values I hold. Never give up, always look forward. It was also the most painful tattoo!!! OUCH! haha I am surprised I didn't kick Salty in the face haha.
Well I think that just about sums it up for now.
A L O N E.
I know I am not alone, I have the best friends, sister and all the cousins any one could have (lol), but I still feel kinda gloomy at times. I want to feel that happy feeling again, the chispa, butterflies kind of happy, but, there is no one at the moment. I hate remembering the past. And I hate that just thinking about something can make me so angry. That's just life though.
On to catching up!
Well nothing new has really happening but I'll list a few things that have happened :)
- Really into bike riding. i actually LOVE it.
- Looking for a new job, I really can't take the disorder and lack of management here
- Piano, I've been playing it a lot recently.
- New tatts! I got Con Fuerza right above my knees. It means With Strength. This tattoo means so much to me. Madball's song Con Fuerza reminds me of my family and all the values I hold. Never give up, always look forward. It was also the most painful tattoo!!! OUCH! haha I am surprised I didn't kick Salty in the face haha.
Well I think that just about sums it up for now.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
We've Lost It All, The Love Is Gone
Firstly, I never blog at this time, but I need an out. Secondly, I really hate writing about this and feeling like this, but this is my only escape besides music.
I don't know why I am even getting watery eyes from this. It's so not like me. I just hate feeling, alone.
What if I did mess it up, what if I am the one running away...? I really don't know. It's not fair, 'cus either way, I would still stay the same lone wolf so what good would it be to know? I wish I could hear God tell me, but of corse, God works in his own way and we must go through life and experience things first hand.
I think more of it has to do with me feeling ripped off. Ripped off in that I have been nothing but supportive and positive about things while on the flip side you weren't there for me. Happiness isn't mine to take or get in the way of. It stupid to want to turn back time so I am not going to say that, I am just going to say that if I ever have another opportunity of happiness or something like that, I hope you can be there for me and put all feelings aside.
If only I had seen you the way you saw me, maybe this wouldn't be. But I can't blame myself for not seeing what I wasn't mean't to see and I can't blame you for not trying. I wish I could have returned all the feeling and love, but I just can't, couldn't and don't know if I will ever be able to. This heart is too shattered. I hope in the future I can learn to reciprocate those feelings to someone who shows them to me. I need to be happy. For reals happy.
I don't know why I am even getting watery eyes from this. It's so not like me. I just hate feeling, alone.
What if I did mess it up, what if I am the one running away...? I really don't know. It's not fair, 'cus either way, I would still stay the same lone wolf so what good would it be to know? I wish I could hear God tell me, but of corse, God works in his own way and we must go through life and experience things first hand.
I think more of it has to do with me feeling ripped off. Ripped off in that I have been nothing but supportive and positive about things while on the flip side you weren't there for me. Happiness isn't mine to take or get in the way of. It stupid to want to turn back time so I am not going to say that, I am just going to say that if I ever have another opportunity of happiness or something like that, I hope you can be there for me and put all feelings aside.
If only I had seen you the way you saw me, maybe this wouldn't be. But I can't blame myself for not seeing what I wasn't mean't to see and I can't blame you for not trying. I wish I could have returned all the feeling and love, but I just can't, couldn't and don't know if I will ever be able to. This heart is too shattered. I hope in the future I can learn to reciprocate those feelings to someone who shows them to me. I need to be happy. For reals happy.
Monday, May 2, 2011
I told you this weekend was gonna rule
Had so much f u n! Everything ruled haha.
Friday: BBQ at Leesh and Trav's. Made myself a bomb veggie burger. Chris and Korey came over. The boys had another "tattoo party". That was interesting. We didn't get to bed till like 2a.m. ughh.
Saturday: 6 Flags!!! WOO! Me feet still hurt haha. Trav and I met up with Jessica and her best friend Karissa. We had such a blast! Karissa is such a sweetheart too! Yay for new friendships :)
some hightlights
- Jessica's brilliant idea of getting on the Log Jammer... We all came out drenched!
- Creepy guy with the gold chain in the line for Goliath
- Apocalypse! Almost flying out of the seats haha
- "Mariposa"
- Dejavu!
- All of us so tired we don't even know what we're talking about haha
- Denny's!!
I miss Jessica and Karissa! I can't wait till we all get together again! Im gonna buy the Disney season pass! Stoked! Jessica may come over this weekend, I hope she does!
Sunday: Church was awesome! I love my Pastors and everything about NLC! After church, Ness and I went to hang at Leesh's. Pretty lazy day.
Friday: BBQ at Leesh and Trav's. Made myself a bomb veggie burger. Chris and Korey came over. The boys had another "tattoo party". That was interesting. We didn't get to bed till like 2a.m. ughh.
Saturday: 6 Flags!!! WOO! Me feet still hurt haha. Trav and I met up with Jessica and her best friend Karissa. We had such a blast! Karissa is such a sweetheart too! Yay for new friendships :)
some hightlights
- Jessica's brilliant idea of getting on the Log Jammer... We all came out drenched!
- Creepy guy with the gold chain in the line for Goliath
- Apocalypse! Almost flying out of the seats haha
- "Mariposa"
- Dejavu!
- All of us so tired we don't even know what we're talking about haha
- Denny's!!
I miss Jessica and Karissa! I can't wait till we all get together again! Im gonna buy the Disney season pass! Stoked! Jessica may come over this weekend, I hope she does!
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