on my own

I havta do this on my own.
no one else can.

it needs to come from my mouth and no one elses.
I guess this is part of growing up...right?

right.

anyhow. well I got hired at Williams and Williams Law Firm! :)
that's good ha
and well still bnot sure wat I'm doin for thnxgiving but we'll see...hopefully I get to see my buddy...I dnt want him 2 spend thnxgiving alone.


k.
that's all for now.


peace
xelliex

do you know that i love you?

so I finally GRADUATED!
I am now a college graduate =)
and....I got the job! I'm gonna be working saturdays at the law firm! hopefully I
do good and get hired on full time.
I need to save that money if I'm gonna move back home :)

k so yea...my friends getting married...I'm 1 of her bridesmaid, I'm excited for.
it almost seems like all of my friends are getting married of... wth? lol
but ya makes me wanna plan my wedding...even tho I have no1 to marry hahaha

anyhow, I'm doing good. me n trav r making it man.
we're digging deeper into the kingdom. I'm so glad we ghave eachother to help
eachother out through this. God is so great!

update on the status : still single....lol and I'm ok with it. I have him. I don't mind if
that he's not mine ,he's still here for me. my friend. my dear friend.
I love him. as crazy as it sounds, its all in Gods hands. I'm not gonna worry to much about it
whatevers meant to be will always be.

happiness :)

The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.
Isaiah 58:11


he takes care of us ALWAYS

it hurts

so here's the truth.
I rele can't hold it in any much longer....
I fell in love with you. ....I felt something I had never felt before.
everything that everone said that was wrong didn't matter at all to me.
I didn't care what they said. I didn't care what they thought.
you see...all that mattered in that time was that I could be my self with you.
you didn't care for what was on the outside, you cared for what was on the inside.
just being silly and rocking out to the beat of our own drum was the best.
what was even better, was that I could enjoy myself with you.
you brought out the best in me.

then....you left. you left my alone.
do you know how much I hurt?
I told myself id never fall for anyone ever again.
to try to forget you, I let some guys into my life...but I was always thinking of you.
I did everything I could to forget about you. I avoided speaking your name. and when people mentioned your name, I pretended I didn't hear and didn't care.

so a year and a half passes and I am now 18.
when all of a sudden....you walked right back into my life. the second I saw you. I felt as though my heart jumped out of my chest only to hide itself from your eyes. when I say everything, I really mean everything. memories that I didn't even know still exsisted came back to mind. pain. I wanted to leave for good and never come back to where I could possibly see you. but to my surprise, you smiled at me. and from there, a friendship that I never imagined possible began to grow.

soon after I had a boyfriend. he was a great guy, but nothing he ever did could make me forget about you. his eyes wwerent the same. I couldn't be my true self. I wanted so bad to forget about you and believe me I tried....I though I was doing a good job...but ofcorse, with every sunday that I saw you, I couldn't possibly allow myself to forget.
my undying love for you soon brought the end of my relationship. I couldn't bare watch myself hurt an innocent boy. he deserved someone who would actually love him. and not compare him to a non exsistant love.
that wasn't fair for him. and I still feel somewhat bad for using him. I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted to forget about you.

so now months have passedand im now 19 and I can honestly say that I still feel the same about. after 2 years, nothings changed. I'm so surprised that we are able to be the good friends that we are today. I try to fight back the temptation to hold your hand and kiss your cheek. just please understand that I'm still trying to forget you. forget about the love I feel for you. I'm glad we can hang out with just me and you and have great times together. believe me, I wouldn't trade them for anything. but please....please be aware of the things you do and say. any little thing u do or say pulls the trigger inside of me.

thank you for being my bestfriend. thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life again. just know that I will always love you. you'll always have a little piece of my heart.


peace
xelliex

Thunder

Boys Like Girls - Thunder lyrics

Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
(I tried)

I tried to read between the lines
(I tried to look in your eyes)
I want a simple explanation
(For what I'm feeling inside)
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today's a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your voice (this is getting colder)
Was the soundtrack of my summer (yeah the summer's over)
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain (well today's a winding road)
Oh baby bring (today I'm on my own)
On the pain
And listen to the thunder



Lyrics | Boys Like Girls - Thunder lyrics