but you dont see me, not at all

so this weekend has been quite an emotional roller coaster, I went from feeling fantastic to feeling alone to feeling ok and then mad. ehhh. that's life though I guess.
last nite me n trav had an interesting conversation. he could see something was bothering
me....I've just been real frustrated lately with everything.
like not having my own car, and my parents not being able to help me with it and work and just everything
and then when I took my lil sis to the movies wit her friends and all...it was nice seeing these girls have such a good friendship but I just felt like a loser sitting at the theaters all by myself.
alone...

I was telling trav how its just frustrating how you think and u do ur best in life and u
have an awesome personality and all that and ur even talented n chill yet, guys always say they want one thing and then go for the total oppisite. am I not girly enough? like its funny how all the guys call me one of the boys but at the same time, it makes me feel kinda...awkward. like what's wrong with me?
do I have to be all touchy and flirty and stuff? well that's not who I am. is it rele my fault that I chose a guitar and drums instead of nail polish and pink?

I'm tired of all these guys saying they want a girl who's can do all that I can do , and then just leave me standing there while they find some preppy or indie girl who doesn't even enjoy the things they do.

idk....maybe I'm just at an awkward stage in life. I probaly am. I'm just being honest with myself. I know God has the master plan and I guess we just have to wait, but guys...a word of advise, don't toy with our feelings. dont say u want one thing and then go get the oppisite.

blehhhh.

I'm ok. I've got my few close friends and my family. that all I need :]