Whatever.... This is a sucky post.

So pretty much scratch out everything that I said in the previous post. I am pissed. I am sad. I am annoyed and irritated and I am upset. Today is my 22 nd birthday and what I thought was going to be an awesome new year of life, has already started out crappy. The job That was lined up for me fell through. So now I am jobless. My last pay check is on the 31st. Sigh. This really does suck. I hate being a Debbie downer. I hate being stressed :/ I am sad that today is supposed to be a happy day but all I'm feeling is anger and sadness.... This post is a huge rant... Sorry. I hate that one of the reasons I am upset is because I can't help but remember my 19th birthday. I hate that birthday. I hate that year of my life. I don't even know why I am remembering it. Maybe it's cus I have lost complete touch with this person... But it was for the better.... Right? For some retarded reason I was expecting a txt or MSG from him...how stupid. All I can think of is having breakfast at Corner Bakery and him buying my blue Vans and spending the day together... Efff. I need to stop... Sometimes I think that I remember most when another person shows interest... And then I begin to panic inside because I can't let anybody in. Never. Again. Ya know? Thats what I think sometimes, and it bums me out. Sorry. I hope I don't bum anybody else... I'll get through it... This week has just been hard to get through.